frozen..numb

You are just next to me
And yet you are a million miles away
You could once read my mind
Now you don’t get me even if I speak things aloud

Was the past an illusion
Or is the present an exaggeration
Can understanding be pretence?

I don’t know anymore
I don’t feel guilty
Nor am I sorry

Tears don’t flow anymore
They just freeze in my heart
Then the form icicles
And cut my heart open
Even then I don’t cry
I only bleed. Quietly I bleed
Slowly but steadily
Till all my life is drained out

I feel lighter
When I keep things to myself
Sharing suddenly
Becomes
,,,,an obligation
..a burden. a suffering

Why can you suddenly not decipher me?
Have I changed or have you?
An I expecting too much or are you giving too less?
Do we know each other? Did we ever?

I don’t know. I don’t even want to
I don’t fit in. and I don’t want to
I’m not going to try
The effort is not worth it anymore

This is no blame game
And I choose not to take names

I am numb. But I will revive
I’m almost dead but I will survive

You have nipped the bud before it could bloom
But there are other seeds. Dormant but existing

And they will grow when nurtured
Someone will nurture them
I don’t know who
All I know is that
It won’t be you