struggles

A plunge into my soul
Scares me
A probe into my heart
Despairs me
An observation of my mind
Makes me weak inside
Who is this person?
What have I become?
What have I done?
What will be the outcome?

These feelings and thoughts
These phrases and words
All so overwhelming and so absurd
So much to do and yet I am idle
My whole life seems a question.
A puzzle. A riddle?

What seems important is not
What is supposed to be cold is hot
I am muddled when I am supposed to be clear
I am there when I am supposed to be here


Forces, emotions. All around
I feel lost. Totally unwound

So much praise. So much criticism
I get answers to questions I never asked
Unwillingly I am being pulled into my past

I struggle to break free
The harder I try
The deeper I am pulled
Deep and deeperTill I can’t separate me from my life