if you were

If you were a song
you'd be the only one I sing

If you were a bell
you'd be the only one I ring

If you were a feeling
you'd be the only one I feel

If you were a movie
you'd be the only one I see

If you were a thought
you'd be the only one I think

If were a drink
you'd be the only one I drink

If you were a flower
you'd be the one I always pick

If you were medicine
I'd always be sick

If you were a place
you'd be the only one I go to

If you were a job
you'd be the only one I'd ever do

If you were a poem
you'd be the only one I write

If you were a mistake
I'd hate to be right

if you were a book
you'd be the only one I read

but you are a guy
you are the only one I need

a soul in solitude

i'll always have

the wind
to gently caress me
to play with my hair
and leave it in a lovely mess

the rain
to beautifuly drench my body
to revive and refresh my soul
with those gorgeous raindrops

the sun
to fill my life with light
and every time i'm cold
provide me warm warmth

the girl in my mirror
to talk to me
to comfort me
to support me
to love me

i'll always have me

moving on

yes i think its finally happened
i've learnt to let go
and yes i forgive you
i didn't mean to create a row
all the anger has fizzled away
all thar remains is a hurt soul
i never meant to hurt you
like you didn't mean to play foul
i'd put a lot of trust in you
and was refusing to see reality
but its finally sunk in now
and i'm never going to believe in fantasy
this isn't the first time anyway
and you aren' the first person to scar
i'll jus be more careful now
i'll be near but i'll stay afar

terror....26/11

terror strikes
like a snake it rises its ugly head
its evil eyes..contemptful
it spits and hisses
and spares no one
indiscriminate...pure and poisonous
it bites all...no regrets

when it slithered into our world
no one knows
for how long its laid there
waiting and preparing to strike

we ask questions now
we scream after the kill

why didn't anyone see or recongnise it?
what chameleonistic trick did it do?

we give it exotic names
and play blame games
who is the charmer behind the snake?
why did we take so long to rise and wake?

alone..but not afraid

i've cut myself away from the world
not because i don't belong
but i no longer want to

we were very different leaves
but atleast we belonged to the same tree
have i detatched myself and flown away?
or have the others gone
and only i remain?


i don't understand anything anymore
why they laugh or why they cry
why they fail or why they try
i can't sympathise
or empathise with anyone
i can no longer laugh with or laugh at
i just can't mock or tease
or love or hate the same way
my feelings are not yours
they acquire a whole new
realm and reason in my world
my world...i'm not sure who is in there anymore
there is me and i think that is all there is

so much like yours
and so much not
so much more deeper
so much more shallow
a smile doesn't mean joy
tears don't mean sorrow

hope doesn't leave me hopeful
inspiration is just a word
anger and action aren't different
a pen just as good as a sword

i don't try to be like you
i know i never will
amidst so much activity
i've tried so hard to be still

this isn't a realisation
no it isn't an epiphany
i'm neither shocked nor surprised
to find myself alone
i've never been at peace anyway
there is no place i call home

for mom

i wish
i could jus wrap my arms around you
and take all you pain away
i'd gladly take it all
the worries, pain - both physical and mental

i wish
i could jus touch your forehead
and erase all the wrinkles
all the proof for the years of strife
and all the sacrifice

i wish
i could jus kiss your cheek
and put a smile back on your face
for where only smiles stayed
now seem to have gone forever

i wish
by being me...by doing something
by doing anything
i could make your life a little bit easier
for all the selflessness
thats the least you deserve

if only

if only
you'd look into my eyes
if only
you listen to my silence
if only
you'd hear my heart beat
if only
you'd see my lips twitch
if only
you'd feel my cold palms
if only
you'd read in between my lines
if only
you'd notice my shy stride
if only
you feel my warm breathe
if only
you''d look beyond ....
you'd see
that even though i'm not talking
i'm telling you so much...
if and only if.....

i'm done with it

i'm done wth

being the strong one
being brave
being bold
being there
being here

for once
i want to be the one
who is allowed to be weak
and just let herself go
and fear all the fears
and cry out all the tears

when i cry

when i cry
the last thing i want you to do
is to ask me to stop crying
or ask me the reason why

instead i'd love it if
you'd just embrace me tight
and hold me as long as i need

instead i'd love it if
you'd just tell me it'll be alright
and then gently caress my cheek

instead i'd love it if
you'd just lend me your shoulder
and also lend me some hope

instead i'd love it if
you'd just let me cry
and then gently wipe my tears dry

agony and ecstacy

For a bountiful harvest
A farmer pays with sweat and toil
For no crops are grown
Until seeds are sown in soil

For no man has tasted success
Without giving it his all
Fro every time that he has risen
Twice he has had to fall

For no mother, without labour
Ever held her bundle of joy
For without the pregnancy, pain
There would be no little girl or boy

For no piece of hard black coal
Ever turned into a diamond overnight
For if the caterpillar didn’t cocoon itself
No butterfly would ever be in sight

For without years of struggle and strife
No grain of sand ever turned into a pearl
No gain without pain, success without failure
Has always been the law of the world


For every moment of ecstasy
With agony we must pay
For only after the dark cold night
Dawns a bright beautiful day

now more than ever

now more than ever
i want you to hug me tight
and not let me go

now more than ever
i need you to listen to me
and not offer solutions

mow more than ever
i want you to comfort me
by just being yourself

now more than ever
i want you lend me your shoulder
to rest my worries upon

now more than ever
i need you to assure me
that you'll always be there

now more than ever
i want you tell me
that things will be okay

now more than ever
i don't just want you to be a friend
i want you to be family


now more than ever
i want you to be strong
and let me be scared

now more than ever
i need you to be right
and let me be wrong

now more than ever
i want you to be in sight
and let me be lost

frozen..numb

You are just next to me
And yet you are a million miles away
You could once read my mind
Now you don’t get me even if I speak things aloud

Was the past an illusion
Or is the present an exaggeration
Can understanding be pretence?

I don’t know anymore
I don’t feel guilty
Nor am I sorry

Tears don’t flow anymore
They just freeze in my heart
Then the form icicles
And cut my heart open
Even then I don’t cry
I only bleed. Quietly I bleed
Slowly but steadily
Till all my life is drained out

I feel lighter
When I keep things to myself
Sharing suddenly
Becomes
,,,,an obligation
..a burden. a suffering

Why can you suddenly not decipher me?
Have I changed or have you?
An I expecting too much or are you giving too less?
Do we know each other? Did we ever?

I don’t know. I don’t even want to
I don’t fit in. and I don’t want to
I’m not going to try
The effort is not worth it anymore

This is no blame game
And I choose not to take names

I am numb. But I will revive
I’m almost dead but I will survive

You have nipped the bud before it could bloom
But there are other seeds. Dormant but existing

And they will grow when nurtured
Someone will nurture them
I don’t know who
All I know is that
It won’t be you

painfully romantic

Looking beyond the obvious, people usually hate the rain for the same reasons that others love it...

it is pouring outside, little drops of rain
They rhythmically dance down roofs
Millions of gentle drops fall angrily on the ground
They hang reluctantly back on leaves
Forming tiny, gorgeous iridescent bubbles

in such poetic whether
i want to
walk with you
you to hold my hand
not loose enough to be cold
Nor tight enough to be fierce
Jus the right grip……

I want you to
Walk step in step with me
Neither ahead
Not behind
Just by my side. Always by my side
Our hearts and steps in perfect sync

I want us to
Have a soulful conversation
With nothing but our eyes

I know that just your presence
Will give me all the hope in the world
And just your warm breathe on me
Will bring my cold existence to life

I put my head on your shoulder
I forget the world around
I’d trust you with my life…my world

I want us to just stay that way
Just you, me, love and the rain for company

she or me

she facinates me one second
and the next disgusts me
first she embraces me
and then disgraces me
i'm awed by her potential
and grieved by her denial

where i once say a spark
i only see ember

from being passionate
she turns plaintive
she has let go of the world
but herself she is yet to forgive

wounded by the past
tormented by the present
perplexed about the future

teenage trials..
adult apprhensions
or just frivilous fantods?

she is young but she is tired
once full of zeal, now uninspired

her face is unfathomable
and her soul inpenetrable

am i her or is she me?

anchor in life

my shoulder is still wet
with the tears of a friend
I am glad that my ahoulder
to rest upon i could lend

everyone needs somebody
to hold on to in life
someone to share the joy
and all the internal strife
a ship needs its anchor
people need them too
to get a grip and
prevent things from going askew
to help you stay on surface
someone to lend a ear
a friend, family, a pet
or anyone you consider near

but this wretched world
with its permanent structures
and temporary lives
where before one problem departs
the other one arrives

to depend outside for an anchor
may temporarily reduce chagrin
but for a more stable existence
let the anchor be within

whatever is happening to me

life is getting boring
things are getting mundane
and i am growing tired
of playing this waiting game
i am sick of all these thoughts
i think i'm going insane
my words don't make sense
they are bordering next to lame
and these that fill myhead
fill me up with shame
all i want to do is focus
and achieve my treasured aim
i'm not asking for anything else
don't want luck, power or fame
whatever i ma going through
has no scientific name
and nothing invented yet
can make my wild heart tame
and for this state that i'm in
i have only me to blame

just felt like that

i'm feeling very vulnerable today
all i want to do is hug you
i want you to wrap your arms around me
and just keep holding me tight
i want to feel the warmth of your body
and feel your heart beat against mine

and then just shut the world out
and sink into your body and drown in your soul
alas if you only knew
how much i want you

wanted...

one upon whom i can always depend
one who'll be true and not pretend
when my heart is broken,who'll mend
and a helping hand, always lend
my feelings correctly comprehend
and upon his ideals never bend
to wounds and worries who'll tend
admit his mistakes and make amend
loads of time with me he should spend
and occasionally a gesture of love,send
individualistic, not a follower of trend
and physical barriers he should transend
be on my side and always defend
not just a lover but a friend
with love that'll never end
i wantt that kind of a boyfriend

mr cute guy

hey Mr cute guy get out of my head
stop! you are making me go all red
why are you so damn good looking
forget prince, you are fit to be king

did you have to be so smart too?
now i can't get my mind off you
so unassuming and so darn cute
whenever i look at you i go mute

just when i had given up on guys
you had to come and make my heart beat rise
hey mr cute guy stop invading my thought
isn't it enough that you've conquered my heart?

in class today

a subject too close for comfort
the truth that i tried so hard to avoid
was thrust upon me in class today
the feelings i tried so hard to hide
the tears i buried deep inside
were breached in class today
the looks of pity i didn't want to receive
and the helpless faces i didn't want to see
englufed me in class today
the part of me that i didn't want to reveal
the wound inside that just won't heal
was cut open in class today

the thoughts i fear the most
put in the medium so dear to me
just the thing i didn't want to happen
my soul was stripped in class today